Toto, the infamous pooch of Sidmouth, gives a dog's-eye-view of the world

Toto, the infamous pooch of Sidmouth, gives a dog's-eye-view of the world

Toto, the infamous pooch of Sidmouth, gives a dog's-eye-view of the world.

Toto, the infamous pooch of Sidmouth, gives a dog's-eye-view of the world.

Toto, the infamous pooch of Sidmouth, gives a dog's-eye-view of the world.

Toto, the infamous pooch of Sidmouth, gives a dog's-eye-view of the world

Hello and a woofing great welcome to all.

Hello all! Hope you had a super Christmas and got all the bones and chews you wanted from Santa Paws.

MUTT OF THE MONTH – Basher, a mightily massive monster mastiff, has found a Cornish home in time for Christmas after two years in a shelter.

MATTER OF THE MONTH – This story turned my head the other day. Stateside boffins have researched why dogs tilt their heads when you talk to them. They concluded that, when a dog’s human mentions for instance a toy that we know and love, we then spend a second or two enjoying the memory of playing with it. And when we remember, our heads tilt. Rubbish. We tilt our heads for one reason and one reason only. And that’s this: humans seem to love it. And this increases our likelihood of getting some tasty nosh. It’s really not rocket surgery.'MUSEMENT OF THE MONTH – No toy this month. Just thought I’d mention how much I love 'musing myself by sitting quietly in the sun, on the beach (natch), looking super sharp in one of my new SIDMOUTH – MY YAPPY PLACE bandanas. I think they might feature a typo, but it’s a yappy – er, happy – accident. They’re the perfect Christmas prez, and we haven’t got many. So get down to my shop now or it’ll be ‘Christmas time, miss out oh you’ll whine’. As Cliff (no, not one of the Sidmouth Cliffs) used to sing.MOSEY OF THE MONTH – Branscombe - went around the back of the Sea Shanty up a lane to The Fountain Head. Then took the path through the woods back to the cliff. Super. Fierce bunch of cows in the way en route. No bull. No, I mean there wasn’t a bull. Thank goodness.MERCHANT OF THE MONTH – Libra Court. On balance, if I was into horoscopes, I’d say it’s in the stars that you visit this lovely little courtyard that totally scales the heights. If you like nice nosh you’d be silly to sally past Selley’s. You can leave your human getting their claws done at Lashes and Lacquer while you try your paw at pot painting at Something Lovely. And there’s a place in the corner where I rocked up once with my Elton John glasses on and a spangly jacket. Turns out it’s not a pop pup space. Pop-up. Embarrassing. Anyway, let’s talk Art Den. It’s quite a draw. I’ve been in Manet times and I’m etching to go back. Let me paint you a picture. To start with, that bloke inside isn’t called Den. Or Art. He’s Bruce. Lorraine is the nice painter lady (I’ve often had a brush with her). So, why do I love this place? Is it because Lorraine and Bruce are the Frida and Diego of Sidmouth? Is it because I’ve canvassed opinion and it’s easelly top of the art fart’s art mart charts? Or is it because there’s a portrait of me in the window? You decide. Lorraine does super dog portraits. And you don’t have to be a super dog like yours truly. She even gets all Moggiegliani and does cats from time to time. Not sure why. There’s arresting stuff on every wall in the shop (nothing by Constable, though). You simply can’t Turner way. Me, I like Bacon. Emin to say, he doesn’t dilly-Dali and he’s totally on the Monet. I’m mostly into Pup Art. And Bauwauhaus. I like impressionism too (esp Mike Yarwood). Licktenstein is great, as is Ruffael. And when I’m feeling sore I like some Bottyjelly. I have a beret good frame of reference and an all-encompassing palette. Mind you, I’m aFreud to say that I saw some old bore on the telly waffling on about a worthless dotty splatterfest. Pollock’s, I thought to myself. Not sure who the artist was, but he totally took the Pissarro. I’m more into realism, like that painting of dogs playing snooker. Could be a photo. Anyway, sorry to be a bit sketchy but I get Chagall words to play with: I only have Vermeer 650. So, I’m Sickert heart to say it but it’s time to Gau(guin). Dada for now. Toto out.

The beach is back! Now the fair-weather fans have cleared off for another year, it’s all ours. Yes! As Jay-Z said on his summer hols when he couldn’t get his flake into his ice cream but consoled himself with the lovely seashore, we’ve got 99 problems but a beach ain’t one! I imagine this is a reference that will go down hugely well with Sidmouth’s thriving hip hop community, so I’ll move on sharpish.Mutts of the Month – Boyo boy I just read about a whole bunch of Welsh dogs rescued from a puppy farm. Conditions there were horrid so I won’t go into that side of things. If you want to adopt one of these fab fellas, go to the simply super hoperescue.org.uk and they’ll get you hooked up with a corking cocker or jolly Jack Russell.Merchants of the Month – Bookshops. What the Dickens? Two excellent literature merchants in one small town? That’s a turn-up for the books! One of them must have been an exotic bird merchant at one point. That’s called the Parrot Gone, I believe. The other one’s owned by Hollywood hardman Ray Winstone. Well-read dogs are allowed in to have a good nose through the latest must-reads (don’t dog-ear them though). What are Wordsworth to me? Well, I don’t mind Shelleying out a few quid for a decent read, and I’m just the chapter to be in and out all the time. ‘Back Sassoon?’ they always ask me. My cummings and goings aside, there’s nothing verse than not having a book of rhymes close at paw, especially doggerel. Without this, I’m Donne for. Are you on the same page? Audenarily I like Larkin about with poems, but given the Chaucer something else, I like prose too. Shaw I am Wilde about it. Quite the expert, in fact. Someone asked me yesterday about who wrote The Barkchester Chronicles, apparently featuring some loose woman always on the flirt. Trollope, I thought to myself. Not sure who wrote it though. Must just mention my friend Monty who’s come to live with us. He’s still got his complete works (if you know what I mean) so he’s probably into macho books full of ruff stuff. Mind you, he says he loves his Balzac, so he must be into French literature, I guess. As far as I’m concerned, my fave is Clive Barker. He really speaks my language. Anyway, something’s Amis if you don’t support your local bookshops, so Hugo on in and see for yourself what I’m Tolkien about. Right, that’s books covered.Mosey of the Month – My human asked me if I wanted to go for a nap this morning. Super, I thought. I’ve reached that age where, if you don’t snooze, you lose. Turned out he was on about a quick stomp to the Knapp. Up a hill and behind a big graveyard (note: bones NOT available) up to a spot that the old fool thinks looks like an iron age fort (who cares? He was certainly doing his best to put the nap into Knapp) and which gives an excellent opportunity for racing round and round like a goober. You might want to combine it with a trip to the Knowle across the road. (Remember your poodle cross code though. Look left. Look right. For nosh to bite). Fab park there that used to be a zoo, apparently. Maybe that’s where the parrot went. Don’t forget to vote for a special someone in the Herald’s Pet of the Year. Someone perhaps who has brought loads of fun into people’s lives across the region for almost a whole year now? Someone with a shop full of super toys and treats, selflessly distributed to the needy dogs of Sidmouth (in return for money)? Oh, you mean me? Did not see that coming. Bit embarrassing, that. But if you insist… Toto out.