Into the cliff face

I note that the town of Sidmouth has become infested with undesirables. I believe I can help.

I can provide references from as far away as Hamelin in Brunswick which will confirm the efficacy of the service I can offer.

If your town clerk would like to contact me I can negotiate a reasonable fee to rid Sidmouth of its plagues of:

unmarried mothers

noisy children

irritating teenagers

annoying cyclists

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district councillors

revolutionary socialists


I can guarantee to lead all such scourges into the sea or into the river or into the cliff face, which will ensure that Sidmouth need never be troubled by any of them ever again.

The Pied Piper

aka Robert Crick

(via email)