Make the most of beach walks with your pooch as annual ban starts in May

Toto logs on at the beach

Toto logs on at the beach - Credit: Totos of Sidmouth

Toto, the infamous pooch of Sidmouth, gives a dog's-eye-view of the world

MUTT OF THE MONTH: Free Willy! I was very pleased to read about Willy the Labrador, rescued from a well in Eastleigh the other week. The intrepid explorer had decided to pop down the shaft to investigate the smell from a (sensitive dogs look away now) dead critter but found he couldn’t get back out when he’d had enough fun for the time being. Two hours later, a bunch of firefighters had him out. I imagine it was nice for these people to have something important to do, for a change (don’t write in – just joshing). Anyway, the moral of the story is: on your walks, stay safe chaps and leave well alone. Or you’ll be shafted.

MERCHANT OF THE MONTH – The Dairy Deli: the best deli in the Milky Way. When it comes to groceries, there’s not many shops a pet can patronize. Which is why I love to pop in to the Dairy Deli whenever I find myself taking a churn up Church Road. Not just full of dairy stuff mind you – this deli’s got plenty of udder goods too. The prices won’t leave you feeling cheesed off either. OK, it’s not Lidl, but yoghurt what you pay for. It’s the crème de la crème of dog-friendly delis. Whey to go. I curd go on but I won’t milk it, so moooooving on…

MUNCH OF THE MONTH – …But not too far, as I want to talk about our new Brilliant Beef (and Delishy Duck) treats from Doodlebone. Grain-free, no artificial whatnot and stuffed with stacks of meaty meatiness, plus sweet potato, seaweed, apple, carrot, spinach, herbs and even rosehip, all soft-baked in wood fire ovens. And here’s the science bit - concentrate: they contain something called Oh Mega 3 Fat Tea Acid. Tasty, huh?

MOOCH OF THE MONTH – Let’s talk beach. Brilliant. You know it. I know it. It’s shore where it’s at. The most fun you can have without a squirrel. And we’re lucky pups here in Sidders because the water’s super-squeaky-clean. Strange government environment people are always coming here, keen to get their hands on nastiness and they always leave empty-handed and downright disappointed. Water qual is ‘Excellent’, litter is officially ‘Not objectionable’ and intestinal enterococci have ‘Gone right through the bottom’. Anyways, make the most of it, chaps – we’ve got just til the end of April then the best beaches go all dog-off. Not sure why – maybe it’s because those beaches get a bit crowded between May and Sept so it’s to make sure we dogs don’t get bothered by all the fairweather users. Anyways, we get lobbed onto special beaches, which is all super, but here’s where I get all controv…

MOAN OF THE MONTH - I’d like to ask the local council packleaders to consider how chockasplot Port Royal beach gets. Seems a bit strange to this puzzled pup to have us all those boats, fishermen and dogs all squished onto the petitist patch of pebbles in Devon. Might I humbly ask that the next beach along get the OK for well-behaved dogs? I’ll be happy to police. And, while I’m at it, Jacob’s Ladder’s fab, obvs, but it’s blinking miles away, especially if you’ve only got little legs. And there’s no sign saying where the no-lead fun can start. ….And breathe. Now, if you want some good no-lead fun, you can’t do any better than…

‘MUSEMENT OF THE MONTH – Cosmic balls. No, not what an op-dodging spacedog has. They’re super-bouncy balls and the bounciest bits of fun since Tigger. I’ve jumped for all the best bits of bounciness in the biz and these top the lot. Like a brilliantly bouncy ball but so much bouncier. The perfect beach ball. Did I mention that they bounce? And while I’m at it, let me mention our new Hunter Buoys. Floaty fun for everyone. Buoy toys, no less. Buoy oh buoy they’re wild. Wild buoys, as Simon Le Bone would say. Anyway, buoy for now.
Toto out.

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