Nothing will come of nothing if you don’t know about sport

Jamie Taylor stood in front of a large Radio Exe poster

Radio Exe presenter Jamie Taylor - Credit: Submitted

Jamie, how much do you know about sport?

Well, truthfully, not a lot. But I know why my boss is asking, it’s an opportunity, a chance to present a show.

Unfortunately for me, it’s a sports-themed show, but I’m not going to let this opportunity slide.

So I’m about to present my first show: centred around Exeter City playing at Wembley – which I’m told is a big deal.

Luckily for me, it’s football, which has a basic scoring system I think I understand. If it goes in the back of the net, it’s a goal, I believe, unless it isn’t (offsides, fouls, handballs – this is more complicated than I thought). With rugby I’m bamboozled before they kick-off.

Because of this confusion, I’ve told listeners the Chiefs are playing, which could have led people to believe the Chiefs were playing (when in fact it’s the women’s team, something I’m told is important to make clear).

I’ve reported the scores as “Chiefs leading by 12, which sounds to me rather impressive, but my bulging-eyed boss thundered that I actually have to say what the score is. “Twelve-nothing”, I say – making my “leading by 12” comment technically right but not detailed enough. 

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You can’t just tell people what the lead is, they want to know the score.

“Nothing is wrong too,” my boss yelps. I take that to be a compliment, but he turns purple and yells “Nil, nil, nil.” But at least I tried. Nothing will come of nothing.

Radio Exe’s listeners are always on the ball. Get it wrong, and you know about it. 

So it’s not just who’s playing, and what the score is that you have to get right. It’s pronunciations too.

When I reported that Exeter’s opponents were Gillingham, with a soft G (like a fish) they’re not slow to point that out it’s a hard G, as in “go educate yourself about sport”. 

Understandably, I delete their correspondence from our studio inbox before my bosses see them, moving complimentary ones to the top of the pile. It never works. The bosses listen day and night.

They’ve found a solution to my sporting ignorance. They’ve put me on at five in the morning every weekday. No-one plays sport then.

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