Seagull fun at Kennaway House
A FLYING visit to Sidmouth last week, by poet and broadcaster Matt Harvey, stirred deep emotions in Kennaway House Cellar Bar, when seagulls were (metaphorically) targeted .
The following poem, compiled from spontaneous one-liners from the audience, was clearly written with great feeling.
Matt is well known for his regular contributions on BBC Radio 4’s Saturday Live , and was the Poet Laureate at the Wimbledon Tennis Championships in 2010.
He’ll be back at Kennaway House, with a science-themed Wondermentalist Cabaret on Saturday, October 20, for Sidmouth Science Festival.
Some Words about a Seagull…..
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Sandwich stealer
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Motor car garlander, front wall plasterer
Sidmouth seagulls pooing slightly, day and nightly
Jonathan Livingstone splatter
Screeching! Squawking! Swooping! Diving!
Stop showing off and let me have my lie-in!
Your stomach-churning wheeling and turning
…what I want to see is you crashing and burning
So shine, do not whine, you non-special bird
Most elegant poobag
Barbecue-snatcher
Webbed feet in the attack position
The seagull swoops, smoked salmon gone
The beer a puddle on the grass
No lunch today, alas, alas!
It flew along the prom with ease...
Funny, it had no knees
My stolen pasty laced with bicarbonate of soda
I wait with joy at the impending supernova!
Crab-crunching,chip-stealing,tourist-heckler, banshee of the sea
Hey, Mr Big, you (expletive deleted), you (expletive deleted) on me…………
