Seagull fun at Kennaway House

A FLYING visit to Sidmouth last week, by poet and broadcaster Matt Harvey, stirred deep emotions in Kennaway House Cellar Bar, when seagulls were (metaphorically) targeted .

The following poem, compiled from spontaneous one-liners from the audience, was clearly written with great feeling.

Matt is well known for his regular contributions on BBC Radio 4’s Saturday Live , and was the Poet Laureate at the Wimbledon Tennis Championships in 2010.

He’ll be back at Kennaway House, with a science-themed Wondermentalist Cabaret on Saturday, October 20, for Sidmouth Science Festival.

Some Words about a Seagull…..

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Sidmouth seagulls pooing slightly, day and nightly

Jonathan Livingstone splatter

Screeching! Squawking! Swooping! Diving!

Stop showing off and let me have my lie-in!

Your stomach-churning wheeling and turning

…what I want to see is you crashing and burning

So shine, do not whine, you non-special bird

Most elegant poobag


Webbed feet in the attack position

The seagull swoops, smoked salmon gone

The beer a puddle on the grass

No lunch today, alas, alas!

It flew along the prom with ease...

Funny, it had no knees

My stolen pasty laced with bicarbonate of soda

I wait with joy at the impending supernova!

Crab-crunching,chip-stealing,tourist-heckler, banshee of the sea

Hey, Mr Big, you (expletive deleted), you (expletive deleted) on me…………

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