Infamous Sidmouth pup, Toto, picks his favourite films of 2021 - and more

Drone images of new Marina Centre Great Yarmouth

Great Yarmouth, where Toto enjoyed a holiday - Credit: Oliv3r Drone Photography

Hello all! Hope you had a super Christmas and got all the bones and chews you wanted from Santa Paws.

I had a swell time – too much of a swell time, as I’ve now swelled up a couple of sizes at least.

For a giggle, I gobbled a gaggle of Lily’s Kitchen Three-Bird Feasts. Now I just gurgle. Somebody stop me.

Actually, you can do just that if you pop into Toto’s – there’s still a few tins left in there that I’ve got my eye on. Please take them away. Somebody.

Now, let’s turn to a dog who’s not ended up like a gert big fat Christmas pud and has instead actually shrunk over the holiday season. How on earth did she do that? Was it the Patkins Diet? Pawlates? Let’s find out…

MUTT OF THE MONTH – I was very relieved to see on the BBC (Brilliantly Broadcasting Canines) that a much-missed dog had been found safe after having gone missing for six days over Christmas.

German Shorthaired Pointer Juno is, of all things, a search and rescue dog, so it was a case of selbat. Selbat?

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What’s that clever and strikingly handsome pup on about now, I hear you ask?

Well, a rescue dog needing rescuing means it was a case of tables being turned, you see. Selbat. What’s that? Get on with it you blithering goon? Okay, keep your fur on. Where was I? (Which is just what Juno’s probably asking herself) Well, she was in Norfolk, just by Super Fab Yarmouth (it’s certainly called something like that – I should know cos I had my hols there last summer so I know the area very well. Went on the Norfolk Abroads but didn’t even need my passport), having a lovely East Angular stomp with her family, and she suddenly melted into the bushes like cheese on a hot sausage.

Mmmmm…. Huh? Oh yes, back to Juno.

Her owner was devastated and went out every day to find her. A ginormo search party was organised, involving 85 people and some flying robots called crones or groans or somesuch, and Juno was finally spotted.

Reminds me of the time that Boudicca, the cat who squats in my house, went missing and I put a team together to scour the area making sure she was definitely gone. Course she turned up. Typical.

Anyway, Juno’s a bit thinner but all in all pretty healthy. But I don’t think I’ll be trying out the Norfolk Diet any time soon, thanks.

MOSEY OF THE MONTH – Super quick one this month. My human often wants a bit of respite from the hurly-burly of Sidmouth’s streets (he’s not what you’d call a lively soul) and for a bit of peace with his best pup by his side, he always favours the Dissenters’ Chapel. And I won’t argue with that.

MOVIES OF THE YEAR – Okay, as it’s the end of the year 14147, here are my top flicks. I like to sneak into the Radway Cinema when I can. I love a film, me. With a name like mine, you’ve got to. That or the group, and that ain’t gonna happen.

Thankfully, the boss ladies haven’t twigged that the enormous top hat worn by my human when he goes to see a film is not just an incredible fashion statement. The eyeholes in the front haven’t given the game away. Nor have the little opera glasses I stuck on. So, here’s my fave five:

House of Poochie - Lady Grr Grr showing off her fur coat

Westie Side Story - all about the Jacks and the Shar-peis, getting into a growl-off

No Time to Diet - AKA Christmas with Toto. Starring Spaniel Craig

The Power of the Dog - my biopic

And that Beatrix Potter sequel, Eat a Rabbit 2.

Happy New Year everyone. Toto out.